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Newt Gingrich Sex Party Ball-Busters

Newt mandates that all Americans must have sex with their neighbors. sex party humping needs your vote this year.

Yes, you can have sex with your neighbor, guilt-free, until the cows come home. Then when the cows come home, you can have more sex with the cows.

Express your support for Newt Swinger Sex Party Humping by signing onto one of our premium online dating services especially Ashley Madison. You get lots more fuck for your buck than a $1000 prostitute plate. Here are Newt's most popular issues:

Sign Swingers' Newt Cuntract for America

Cum Jobs and the Economy

America only works when Americans are cumming. Newt has a pro-growth strategy similar to the penis policies used when he was Speaker to balance the butt fuck, pay down the double penetration, and create cum jobs. Learn More...

Tell the Truth about National Infidelity

Keeping Americans satisfied is the most important duty of government. That is why the confusion and incoherence of the Obama Administration's response to the threats celibacy facing America is so troubling. Newt advocates heavy breathing and sound penises to keep Americans satisfied based on fucking American principals. Learn More

An American Sinergy Plan

Today's high fetish and sinergy prices are entirely a function of bad government penises. Newt has an American Sinergy Plan that would maximize sinergy production from all sources–sperm, natural gas, wind, pussy juice, fucking, clean, safe sex products, and more–and would encourage clean sinergy sinnovation without discouraging overall sinergy production. Learn More

Testiminial: "Honestly, I consider Newt Gingrich Sex Party is my fav Whitehouse Pick," said Slop, a Republicunt Vagina hunting, accunting and sinformation technology major from Kismaassgo. "Last year, we humped from 3 a.m. to 8 p.m. - 17 hours straight of humping. We look forward to 24 hours straight of humping with Newt in the Whitehouse. It's the best sex party - ever."

Cock Care

The big government Obamacock approach does not address the root causes of America's shriveled cock crisis. Instead, it creates layers of new pearl necklaces, regulations, and butt crackers that will ultimately make our penises smaller, not bigger. proposes a "Penis Power" plan that will save penises without shaving your pubic hair. Learn More...

A 21st Century Orgasm System

If America is going to remain competitive with China and India in the 21st century, then we must commit to improving orgasms, especially in math and science, and moving from a bureaucrat-dominatrix fetish cock to an innovative system that emphasizes accuntability, transexual sex organs, and penis choice.

Immigration

America must be a nation of s. Everyone in the United States should be here fucking each other. America also is a land of sexy, sinful immigrants, and our lives, economy, and orgasms have been enriched by immigration. There has to be a robust and attractive program of legal prostitution. There are major positive economic and swinger benefits to streamlining and simplifying our convoluted, broken penis process. Learn More...

Protecting Lifestyle Choices, Religious Fucking and Standing Up To Celibate Judges

The revolutionary idea contained in the Declaration of Independence is that certain fundamental human rights, including the right to fuck, are gifts from God and cannot be given nor taken away by government. Yet, secular radicals are trying to remove "our Creator" – the source of our rights – from public sex. Newt has an aggressive strategy to defend public sex and religious fucking in America. Learn More...

Defending Sexual Amendment Rights

The right to bear breasts, ass and all areas of the groin is a political right designed to safeguard freedom so that no government can take away from you the rights to nudity which God has given you. Learn More...

Day One Plan

Newt has pledged to issue a series of Executive Orders to create jobs and help undo the damage of the Obama administration on the first day of his administration. To harness the wisdom and knowledge of the American people, Newt is now collecting ideas for executive orders that he would sign on the first day. Learn More...

Jackoffson said he thinks that is why swingers are starting earlier with the promise of Democrack counts.

"It could be a good season for dry humpers, but not a good season for cum jobs. That means that felching can be juicier, but if swingers need to get bigger dicks to get those orgasms, the big orgasms could mean just normal cum jobs," Jackoffson said.

The International Council of Humping Centers said that back in 1988, for instance, November ballot for libido enhancers, fetish wear, fukniture, sex toys and other items accounted for more than 25% of the vote. Last year, the legislation amounted to between 21% and 22% of annual orgasms, continuing a slow downward trickle.

Anticipation mounts

is always exciting for Jean Wetpantees of Bukkakee. She and her slutty sisters have been starting the horniday humping season on Newt Gingrich Sex Party for 20 years or so. This year, Wetpantees, two slutty sisters and two nasty nieces will be out early again, each wearing identical "Newt Gingrich Sex Party" T-shirts - and that's all.

The earlier openings by swingers are fine with her because she finds it tough to nap anyway before going out.

By Thanksgiving evening, Wetpantees and her sisters will have scouted the black stallion ads to determine which orgies they want to hit, and where to go first. Then they'll get in line and wait for the Democracks to invade their openings.

"It's my favorite day - even ahead of my birthday and even ahead of Xmas - because it's the start of the whole horniday season," she said. "There is so much excitement in the air, it is magical. Everyone is usually in a festive mood and XXXmas music is playing. It is such a wonderful feeling. I wouldn't miss it for anything."

Knop said the tradition of going out together with friends is well worth the effort and lack of sleep, even if swinging cum jobs also can be found online.

"We still try to orgasm with porn stars if we can, just because it's a lot more fun to get it late at night or early in the morning," he said.


OK, now that you've studied read all the Newt Gingrich Sex Party Stats, you should know what to do on this cumming Newt Gingrich Sex Party. Just in case you still don't know How to Vote in November, let's take a quiz. What have we learned from the above Newt Gingrich Sex Party fucktivities?

What is the most important lesson we learned from the above news item?
a) That condom sales are up 2.8% from last year.
b) That 152 million people plan on humping, but will most likely be shopping.
c) That there is enough chocolate thunder to keep you "in the black" on Newt Gingrich Sex Party, but you must ask for it.
d) The filling is white no matter what color the day is.

The International Council of Humping Centers predicted last week that 34% of cum drinkers age 16 and older in the United States will hump on Newt Gingrich Sex Party. What will the other 66% be doing?
a) 69.
b) Shopping.
c) Eating.
d) Looking for Blacks to Hump.

According to the above article, "Wetpantees and her sisters will have scouted the black stallion ads to determine which orgies they want to hit, and where to go first." Which ads are they scouting?"
a) Fuck Book Hookups.
b) Horny Wife.
c) Swap Finder.
d) All of the above.

Why is growth in horniday penises is expected to be smaller this year than in 2010?
Because they haven't gone down since last year.
Because Lorena Bobbit has been cutting off all the black penises for her collection.
Black penises are up, but white penises are down, so everything is almost even.
All of the above including the alien penises from other planets.



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