Swingers Love & Cum Swapping Dating Services^*
*Please Note: All the Nasty words at this site have been replaced with
Gourmet Cooking terminology and other euphamisms in order to protect the innocent.
BTW: You only came here for steaming oysters and Rock-hard Rolling Pins - Didn't You?

How Do You Feel about Swinging with Iron Chefs and/or Velvet Chefs?

Here's something to consider.  What if we showed you how you can be more popular in the Kitchen, win more spicy cooking buddies, and get more of the Deep Frying you want out of life?   If we could show you dating services that could get you action right there in , would you be interested?

What if we could show you how to eliminate rejection, suffer fewer times alone, and stop potential Hot Kitchen cooking partners from passing you over for sensual Flash Frys and passionate Oven Bastings? If we could show you iron/velvet chef dating services that would do this for you, would you be interested?

You've been searching all your life trying to find as much hot Deep Frying with as many Cooking partners as possible to satisfy your quivering, aching, burning Kitchen desires. Yet, you are still unsatisfied because you have been missing that extra something that will answer the one question that has haunted you for years:

"Where can I get more Hot Deep Frying Action and Pressure Cooking Steam Release?" 

You've done everything that you can for more spicy cooking. You've looked into every Aspic and hors d'oeuvers. Hell, you even broke the bank on some Carne Calientes and Professional Cum Swapping Instructors, but there's still something holding you back.

What is it?...

NEW! Take the lovers' extended tour through romantic dating (includes ethnicities of your choice), Kitchen lingerie, and Cooking Utensil Reviews - in that order. Just Follow the Raw Pussy! Also NEW: More Carne Caliente de las Estrellas than you can shake your Rolling Pin at!

For years, iron chefs just like you have asked this same question.  Fortunately for some, they were able to get the answer to this, and many other questions, by joining a swinging lifestyle that's been around since World War II.  Swinger groups from east to west coast proliferated around U.S. Airforce bases through the 1950's. If you were to flip through some of the magazines and newspapers back then, you would have seen some of the world's first direct response ads.  What were the ads for?

DATING SWINGERS.

Before we get into how your life is about to take a drastic turn for the better, allow me to explain how lucky you are.  Or shall I say, how lucky we both are that I was at the right place at the right time...

Sex at sea is selling point as the Swingers Cruise makes a comeback

The organizer of one of the most controversial cruises of 2009 -- a sexually-charged voyage dubbed the Swingers Cruise -- is back in the market this year with plans for a sequel. 

Swingers-focused start-up YOLO Cruises once again has chartered a Carnival vessel for the three-night romp in the Bahamas, which will kick off in Miami on Oct. 29.  As with last year's Swingers Cruise, billed as the first ever on a major ship, YOLO is promising plenty of "playful, sexually themed parties, cruise activities and shore excursions."

Aimed at people who embrace non-monogamous sexual experiences -- or swingers, in contemporary lingo -- the second Swingers Cruise also will boast a "Carnal Cravings Halloween Ball" and what organizers are billing as a "naked and recuperating day" at sea.

The first Swingers Cruise, which took place early last year on a Carnival ship, reportedly was a huge hit. YOLO president Marlene Brustle told USA TODAY at the time that it allowed swingers a chance to get away with like minded people in "an open, erotic atmosphere."

Last year's cruise included designated on-board playrooms with such themes as "naughty schoolgirl" and "masquerade" -- think Tom Cruise's Eyes Wide Shut.

Sex as a selling point for cruises has been on the rise over the past year. What was billed as the first 'cougar cruise' aimed at older women who pursue younger men took place in December (also on a Carnival ship). A second cougar cruise is planned for May on a Royal Caribbean ship.  

The sexually-charged voyages have caused some controversy, and just last month Carnival said it would no longer allow cougar cruises on its ships.

Still, Brustle noted last year that swinging is becoming more accepted by the mainstream (for evidence, she said, look no further than CBS' recent primetime show Swingtown), and swinger-focused cruises are here to stay. She said research shows there are about four million swingers in the USA -- a huge untapped market for cruising.

Brustle said the company hoped to offer three or four swingers cruises a year with a variety of itineraries and ships. Prices for the October voyage start at $399 per person for an inside cabin. More information is online at yolocruises.com.

YOLO, by the way, stands for "you only live once."

That cruise sounds great. Those cruise ships can pack up to 1000 swingers, probably more when they sandwich them together. That's good for 1000 swingers. What about the rest of us? Now that I think about it, I have several questions:

Do you want to have sex for only two weeks in a row?

Reasonably, most swingers want to have sex all year round. I mean, are you the sort who says, "I'm gonna hold in my piss all year because I'm waiting for the fall when I can piss for two weeks straight." Does that sound reasonable to you?

OK, obviously this YOLO Cruise is supplemental to swinging activities for at least 1000 swingers out of four million in the US - the rich ones, that is. Most of us don't have that spreading around money, so we scratch that itch whenever possible with the resources with have. And even if you do have the money,

Do you want YOLO Cruises on your credit card bill?

If you are like most swingers, you want to remain discreet. Thanks to USA Today, everyone knows now what YOLO Cruises is all about. Do you really want those weirdos at the bank smiling at you? Do you really want third party offers based on your recent purchases at YOLO Cruises?

When you sign up to any of the following fine dating services to find local swingers in your area, it's only a small charge that shows up discreetly on your credit card under the holding companys' names. For example, you will see the name of a holding company on your credit statement rather than Adult Friend Finder.

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• Ashley Madison: Upscale Swing Service for Quality Cumjobs
• Catch all those Closet Swingers at Eroticy.com!
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I will not disclose the names of any holding companies because I want to protect your privacy when you sign up with their services. The charges to your credit card remain small, mysterious and unassuming - in order to protect your lifestyle.

This is in direct opposition to investing in a YOLO Cruises, a major purchase that will most certainly raise red flags with your credit card company - and perverted snickers among their employees who know far more about you than any of your swinging friends...

Maryland Man Gets Warning Over Monthly Sex Parties

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Zoning officials in a wealthy community in suburban Washington have issued a warning over one resident's monthly sex parties.

Paul Pickthorne rents a home in Bethesda and says he is a practitioner of "BDSM," short for "bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism." He says he has hosted four parties attended by dozens of people since the summer.

Montgomery County zoning inspector Frank De Lange issued Pickthorne a warning last week. He says that because he accepted money from attendees to help cover costs, the parties constitute a commercial enterprise.

Police also looked into the parties after receiving complaints from neighbors but found nothing illegal about them.

Strangely enough, monthly sex parties are still far more discreet than YOLO Cruises - and safer. The police looked into the sex parties and they're OK with them. They probably joined in. How much safer can your sex parties be when you got police approval with the badges looking out for you?

This is in direct opposition to pirates on the open seas where there can be storms and pirates that take advantage of your sexually compromised positions.

Upon further research, I discovered that YOLO Cruises has designated areas for having sex: Their own state rooms or the orgy rooms, of which there are few. People can be nude at the pools and jacuzzis, but they can't have sex there. What's up with that?

If you're going to be forced to have sex in a designated areas of the ship, then what good is that swinger cruise? There's supposed to be cum juice all over the decks, pools, and jacuzzis. Why the hell would I buy such a big ticket sex cruise with a bunch of other swingers if I can't have sex anywhere I want?

If we have to stick to designated areas, we might as well stick to the swingers our own areas, in our own private rooms, our own private pools, and our own private jacuzzis where the cum flows freely.

Since the police are OK with BDSM sex parties in Maryland, you can be sure that they're OK with sex parties everywhere else too. Don't be pimpin' like Pickthorne or else you get in trouble. Set up a swing calender, then tell your fellow swingers to bring wine, snacks, condoms, lubricants - the essentials.

Sign up now because the police want to protect your rights as a swinger, so they can join your wild orgies:

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