Dating Swinger's Grease Fire Guide to Your Sexual Orientation

[name], As a straight iron chef, you have many choices; it's understandable why you might get lost in the supermarket when there's so much delicious food to cook.

I'm sure at this point, you're thinking "what is the fastest, easiest way to eat as many fresh, Raw Oysters as possible?"  You have to remember that a true gourmet chef focuses on quality, not quantity.  You're not only out to please yourself; you're also out to please the velvet chefs who provide those Raw Oysters.

I'd like to ask you further questions before I make a recommendation.  For now, I would like you to study a few methods for eating Raw Oysters at the Art of Eating Raw Oyster Course.  You need to incorporate your skills into your advertising strategy because Velvet chefs want to know how much and how long you can make them Grease Fire. 

You see, [name], when you put yourself in that supermarket advertising your sharpened skills for Fire Roasting Raw Oysters and causing Grease Fires, the velvet chefs will save you time by shopping for you rather than the other way around. 

Another way to save you time in the supermarket is to advertise your Rolling Pin.  Velvet chefs are looking for skilled or sizable Rolling Pins, preferably both.  Velvet chefs particularly love pictures of thick Rolling Pins with large heads.  To save you time in the supermarket, you should provide a picture of your powerful Rolling Pin.

If your Rolling Pin is not exactly the biggest, you might want to have a look at a proven system for adding to the length and girth.  Have a look at the famous Pro Extender System that has helped a number of iron chefs get into gourmet cooking movies.

Velvet Chefs also appreciate iron chefs who are always prepared for every contingency in the Hot Kitchen. For this reason, you should also advertise your sexy cooking apparel and Rolling Pin rubbers for catching your hot Marshmallow Sauce.

Velvet chefs especially like to feel safe when they've made a choice of cooking partner.  So one more item that confirms you get action faster than most chefs is ConfirmID.  This lets velvet chefs know that you actually are the same person who put yourself on display.

 Please continue to the next question, [name]...

[name], As a straight Velvet Chef, you have many choices; it's understandable why you might get lost in the Hot Kitchen when there's so much delicious food to cook.  But how to shop safely by separating the coots from the cooks?

Fortunately, friend finder came out with a service called ConfirmID.  Velvet chefs play it safe by only using iron chefs who legally identify themselves.  There's less room for worry and more room for enjoyment in the Hot Kitchen this way!

I'm sure at this point, you're thinking "what is the fastest, easiest way to roll as many pins and oven baste as many hot sausages as possible?" 

You have to remember that a true gourmet chef focuses on quality, not quantity.  You're not only out to please yourself; you're also out to please the iron chefs who provide you with Rolling Pins.

I'd like to ask you further questions before I make a recommendation.  For now, I would like you to study a few methods for oven Basting and Rolling Pin techniques at the Multi-Orgasmic Man Course and Ejaculation.  Iron chefs like velvet chefs to play "teacher" and want to know how much pleasure you can bring to them.

Remember, [name], in your role as "teacher," it's your job to teach iron chefs how to last as long as possible, so they can give YOU pleasure - not the other way around. 

You see, when you put yourself in that supermarket advertising your skills for twirling Rolling Pins in butter and oven Basting sausages until they shoot hot Marshmallow Sauce, the iron chefs will save you time by shopping for you rather than the other way around. 

But, let's face the facts, [name], as a hot velvet chef, you probably get too many offers already, so you prefer some kind of filtering process.  As I said before, this is where Confirm ID saves you time and worry so you can work on your burning kitchen desires.

Please continue with this survey...

So you're an iron chef who likes Rolling Pins.  [name], It just so happens that all gay chefs are natural born swingers. 

The only problem with you is the same as what happens to all other chefs when they get started in the Hot Kitchen; they tend to underCookthe meat for fear of overcooking it. You're afraid of touching the meat to make sure it's cooked perfectly. 

As I understand, it's easier for homosensuals.  Since you know what feels good to you, then you know what feels good to the other iron chef.  You're both cooking with the same equipment, so you know how to make each other Grease Fire.

What you have to do is thrust yourself into the Hot Kitchen, thus, forcing yourself to touch the meat while it's cooking.  It's like skydiving.  All you have to do is defeat your fear of touching the meat ONCE and the rest is easy - sweaty, but easy. 

The question remains:  Are you looking flash-fire Grilling relationships or slow roasted, oven Basting relationships?

For flash-fire Grilling, you need the Gay Cum Swapping Dating Homosensual Network.  The flash-fire Grilling can go both ways, so remember to bring plenty of butter and wine for your Aspic.

As I understand, there is some carmelization during Flash Fire Grilling depending on how you Cookthe meat.  But if you're looking for a slow carmelization on your meat without burning the meat, then you want a slow-roasted, oven Basting.  In this case, you should find a cooking partner through Gay Dating Swingers Search for Love & Friendship.

You may also be an iron chef who loves Velvet Chefs with Rolling Pins (AKA Velvet Chef with iron fist). 

There are actually three solutions here:  Hot Trannies provide Live Hardcore Video Chat Cooking Shows.  Yes, these are only Carne Caliente cooking shows, but maybe you are curious, but yellow.

The other solution is if you have a regular velvet chef for a cooking partner, yet you have secret yearnings for Rolling Pins because you want to deep fry your Aspic.  Not to worry.  Your Velvet Chef only needs the proper Cooking Utensil.

For your fantasy prostate massage, all your velvet chef needs is a Prosthetic Rolling Pin (AKA Feeldoe) which also serves as a Raw Oyster exerciser + Fantasy Double Dildo.  Open a whole, new dimension to your gourmet cooking with the Feeldoe, Cum Swapping equipment to master chefs!

In fact, [name], your velvet chef may also be interested in using the Feeldoe on other velvet chefs - if she is so inclined.  In that case, you might start a gourmet Cooking Contest!

So you're a Velvet Chef who likes Raw Oysters.  It just so happens that all gay chefs are natural born cooks (swingers). 

For my taste, in particular, I happen to love Barbequed oysters on the grill with a bit of butter and wine, but nothing beats the smell of Stir Frying Raw Oysters together with shrimp, bass, coconut oil and rice wine until there's a flash-fire with Grease Fire shooting Soup du Jour everywhere. 

[name], in your case, the Soup du Jour is your fresh hot Bouillabaisse.   

Oh yes, I love velvet chefs.  Gay or straight: It doesn't matter.  What matters to me is the juiciness and the intense flavours of your Raw Oyster... For now, Let's talk about why you're here.

The only problem with you is the same as what happens to all other chefs when they get started in the Hot Kitchen; you tend to underCookthe meat for fear of overcooking it. You're afraid of touching the meat to make sure it's cooked perfectly.

[name], As I understand, it's easier for lesbians.  Since you know what feels good to you, then you know what feels good to the other velvet chef.  You're both cooking with the same equipment with the same burning kitchen desires, so you know how to make each other Grease Fire.

What you have to do is thrust yourself into the Hot Kitchen, thus, forcing yourself to touch the meat while it's cooking.  It's like skydiving.  All you have to do is defeat your fear of touching the meat ONCE and the rest is easy - sweaty, but easy. 

The question remains:  Are you looking for flash-Fire Roasted Grilling relationships or slow roasted, oven Basting relationships?

For flash-fire Grilling, you need the Gay Cum Swapping Dating Homosensual Network.  The flash-fire Grilling goes both ways between velvet chefs, so remember to use plenty of coconut oil and rice wine to keep your raw oyster from burnings.  (Coconut oil is actually very good for your Raw Oyster since it's also anti-bacterial and does not break down during high temperature Stir Fryings of Raw Oysters.)

As I understand, there is some carmelization during Flash Fire Grilling depending on how you Cookthe meat, but it mostly burns when it's over the grill.  

If you're looking for a slow carmelization without burning the meat, then you want a slow-roasted, oven Basting or even a smoke roasted Barbeque.  In this case, [name], you should find a cooking partner through Gay Dating Swingers Search for Love & Friendship.

You may also be an velvet chef who is curious but yellow. 

There are actually two solutions here:  Hot Lesbian Video Chat and the Hot Lesbian Cum Swapping Portal.  Yes, [name], these are only Carne Caliente cooking shows, but the members can probably provide you with live and up close Carne Caliente to help get your Grease Fire started.

The other solution is if you have a regular velvet chef for a cooking partner, yet you have secret yearnings for erect Rolling Pins up your Raw Oyster Vongole because your Aspic is in need of serious Deep Frying.  Not to worry.  Both of  You only need the proper Cooking Utensil.

For your fantasy Raw Oyster massage, all your velvet chef needs is a Prosthetic Rolling Pin (AKA Feeldoe) which also serves as a Raw Oyster exerciser + Fantasy Double Dildo.  Now, you can deep fry each other's oysters while Deep Frying your own!  Imagine the efficiency of this Rolling Pin in your Hot Kitchen!

Open a whole, new dimension to your gourmet cooking with the Feeldoe, Cum Swapping equipment to master chefs!

In fact, [name], your velvet chef may also be interested in using the Feeldoe on other velvet chefs or even an iron chef - if she is so inclined.  In that case, you might start a gourmet spatchcock contest!

OK, [name], you're hungry and you've learned some mad cooking skills in the Hot Kitchen to put on your resume.  Now, it's time to put your skills to good use. 

Since you have little time on your hands, you would like to get to cooking and eating immediately such as Deep Frying and flash-fire Grilling - and even pressure cooking when you want your meat tender and juicy in as little time as possible.

You have an amazing selection of gourmet chefs and sous chefs from whom to choose, but, remember: You are also in the Cum Swapping market and you have amazing cooking techniques to cause Grease Fires.

Since you have little time on your hands and you want to remain discreet, you need similar chefs to help you get the job done:  You can Meet Swingers NOW thru Gourmet Chef Finder; or put yourself in the Swingers Pressure Cooking Ads for single, divorced, separated and married Cum Swapping addicts;  or You can join BangMatch wifelovers who get laid every day.

Velvet chefs you might like in particular are the closet sous chefs from hell's kitchen.  In fact, these are closet sous chefs who hardly get any cooking done in their own kitchen's because they married impotent Food Critics or belong to religious families who don't believe in cooking before marriage. 

However, [name], these closet sous chefs want to remain as discreet as possible; they married Food Critics who don't know how to cook, but they enjoy all kinds of cooking themselves.  You need to help these sous chefs with their cooking techniques. 

Closet Cum Swapping Kittens are introverted swingers who crave sensual release from Iron Chefs who respect their privacy without commitments.  Help them NOW!

So, [name], you have plenty of time on your hands and you want hot cooking lessons from experienced Velvet Chefs.  Is that right, [name]? 

There are several ways to take care of your needs. 

You may want to marshmallow stuff some sweet potatoes for some good old home cooking.  You may want a MILF. 

MILFs like to take a little more time because they want to bake you some cookies; they want to feed you their canned peaches; they want to breast feed you; and they like to take time to slow roast your meat for maximum Grease Fire while you chow down on their pink, juicy oysters with hot Soup du Jour shooting down your throat. 

If so, You want MILF Hunter's Cum Swapping Dating Momma's Boy Network.  MILF Hunter's, Swingers, and BBW Cum Swapping dating services bring you together with beautiful tasty or fat nasty Velvet Chefs in your area for personal encounters.  Which ever you prefer. 

Meet your New Momma through the MILF Hunter's network.

What? You're saying that you want more, [name]?  Then you want to get together with lots of master chefs who are serious about perfecting their Cum Swapping arts. 

Since you are especially into gourmet couples and cooking parties (orgies), then you should join Swingers Town USA where Swing Town socialites french every opening in search of vine ripened Sauté vices while Churning butter with giant Rolling Pins and juicy Raw Oysters, so everyone deep frys each other into an earth-shattering Grease Fire.

There's one more Cum Swapping service where velvet chefs are looking for regular "cooking" buddies.  You can find them through Single Swingers Passion Newsletter which has regular updates on all the Cum Swapping activities. 

When you find a regular "cooking" buddy through Passion, it's almost a kind of relationship where you set up regular dates cooking together.  But these are only Last Tango in Paris type of "cooking" dates where you can expect to bring out the best in each other's cuisine - discreetly.  Check out the menu at Single Swingers Passion Newsletter  NOW!  [name], Remember to use plenty of butter when Deep Frying...

So, [name], you're into more exotic cuisine.  In fact, there's some exotic cuisine that's considered taboo.  But that's doesn't bother you - does it?  That's because you have a pickled pig's foot fetish.

You are not alone in your burning, painful kitchen desires.  Strangely enough, you are part of a world wide elite country club that is also into Pickled Pig's Feet (fetish).

Pickled Pig's Feet (fetish) are (in)famous throughout history. There's the biblical infamy of Sodom and Gomorrah where they actually ate their food before cooking it. The infamous Vlad the Impaler with his shish kabob restaurant, the maniacally sinful Rasputin in his Cum Swapping antics with Russian Czarinas, Henry the 8th and his public cooking experiments with his many wives are just a few examples of Pickled Pig's Feet (fetish).  

[name], today, the Free Masons, Harvard's Skull & Bones, Opus Dei and most political and religious leaders in their Bohemian Grove sacrificial meetings carry on the fine tradition of Pickled Pig's Feet (fetish).

You should be proud of carrying on the more obscure Cum Swapping practices of Aspic douche play, juicy ragouts, and scoring vampirism.  You probably realize that there are more chefs out there willing to whip your Aspic than deep fry it, so go ahead and browse the abusive menu of delights at Pickled Pig's Feet (fetish) Cum Swapping Dating BDSM Network.

Pickled Pig's Feet (fetish) Swingers and BDSM Cum Swapping dating services bring you together with Pickled Pig's Feet (fetish)ists and/or femdoms in your area for fresh Aspic, ragouts and more.  GO THERE NOW!

So, [name], you want slow roasted oven Basting with spicy sweet carmelization with your cooking partner... You're looking for a real relationship, maybe even love in the Hot Kitchen. We got you covered.

Dating Swingers actually started out making love connections between chefs, then branched out years later into all kinds of exotic cuisines.  Real love between chefs makes the best spice rub for your summer time Barbeque and your spicy, honey-roasted carmelization cravings.

Please proceed to International Dating Services for Love & Friendship.