Wifelovers Introduction to Swingers

Hello, Swingers & Wifelovers. You have found your one stop clearing house for Cum Swapping dating. Maybe, you don't know that you are a wifelover. I assure you that all Iron Chefs are wife lovers as well as milf lovers. (You should also know that all Velvet Chefs are husband lovers; single and married Velvet Chefs are attracted to stable Iron Chefs, but single Iron Chefs are OK as long as you have a working penis.) Allow me to prove to you that we are not only wifelovers. We are also swinging milflovers. Let us consider the celebrities who we admire. (I can only provide the straight perspective, but gay love can still be found here:)

First, let's think about someone like Angelina, an estranged wife and adopted milf. But she aims to please. She want's to make sure all her past lovers are happy including her ex-husband, so she has them all lined up waiting for a date. Each lover gets a few hours each weekend at a fancy hotel or a private island... She collects new lovers too; The latest on her list of lovers is "Brangelina." Does this mean Brad is also a swinger? Yes. What about his wife? Does that also make Jennifer a swinger? If she's OK with Brad, then SHE SURE IS! WOW - Talk about swinging role models! In Hollywood, this sort of activity is called "networking." If you would also like to "network," with adult friends in , then please click on Pressure Cooking Angelina.

What about someone like CZJ? She's married a man who probably has to take every kind of Fillet pill, poaching patch, and Rolling Pin potion on a regular basis to satisfy her young, hot, lucious body. That is - when they see each other. They both lead very busy lifestyles, yet they decided to have children. She's on the job most of the time just like her husband, but she has been a little busier because she's so in-demand. She needs to scratch that itch after all those long, frustrating hours at work. She want's someone who can go the distance. Who's going to be waiting for her at a discreet location in on her way home? YOU. The swinger dating services here not only allow you to look for Cook. They allow you to list your stud service, so the Velvet Chefs can discreetly come looking for you. You could get tons of email from horny wives looking for Your Stud Service.

What about someone like Demi? She and her husband are obviously swingers. If they weren't celebrities, they'd still be married. They still love each other, yet they love to see other chefs. Their daughters are happy, so that must mean that have lots of mommys and daddys who love them. In fact, their daughters probably know what they're parents are all about. They probably can't wait until they can join in the HollyWood lifestyle, so they can "network." As far as Ashton is concerned he's found his Fantasy Match: Imagine if you had someone like Demi... A hot milf who craves plenty of Hot Kitchen gourmet food - with daughters who can't wait to handle your Rolling Pin? (You'll wait until they come of age - RIGHT?) That's what it's all about when you're a swinging wife-lover. You just might find yourself in a hot mother/daughter situation where you can play love-daddy to all of them.

What about Velvet Chefs like Liz? Hot. Pressure Cooking. Likeable. Fun to be around. Easy going. A high profile swinger until she got "BINGED." But who am I to say? Maybe she thought she was getting up in the years and actually wanted to be a single mother. Maybe she made special arrangements with Bing for child support. My point is that it is your job as a swinging wife-lover to satisfy Velvet Chefs like Liz - before she gets "Binged" and becomes a milf. Of Course, it may be the passionate, free-spirited, nude sunbathing in the UK that causes super heated Cum Swapping to erupt - and Liz is avid about her nude sunbathing. Steve probably got a giant willy looking at Liz and he just wasn't careful. Remember, the Velvet Chefs you encounter here are NOT Carne Calientes. They are regular chefs like you and me who require their fill of pleasure, so treat them as ladies. Let them know that they are Pressure Cooking, vivacious, and "ageless," so they don't get "BINGED" like Liz. The Velvet Chefs you meet here have NO OBLIGATION to tell you that you're a "great lover." Even though you're a stranger they want to be cherished and needed by you - discreetly though it may be, so let's keep them swinging.

Damn! She's smokin' in any color! I have often had theories - or maybe fantasies about why wives like Rebecca are so happy in their seemingly perpetual honeymoon. Now, it looks like the honeymoon is over because she prefers to swing from one guy to another - like her cheating husband. Can you imagine swinging with someone as smokin' hot as Rebecca? Usually, after Velvet Chefs are divorced, they will swing with anyone who satisfies their appetites - until they get bored; then it's off to the next Hot Kitchen! I've seen some really hot ex-wives out there looking for action - and she's found it again with her current Food Critic, Jerry O'Connell! Just turn around, so Can I just eat you, Rebecca. I'll suck that blueberry paint job right off your Aspic after you finish XXX-Men 3! Lick your boots first? - that's fine... [Click for French Rotisserie Info or go to next column]

Who in their right mind would want to cheat on a woman as gorgeous as this? Charlie Sheen provides an example of what NOT to do for an extra-marital Cum Swapping affair: He spent thousands of dollars on an upscale whore and complained to the whore about his beautiful, Pressure Cooking wife. He complained that Denise doesn't allow him all the freedom he wants. Then the whore turned around and told the press what he said including his "proclaimed" love for her. These days professional Chefs don't have to remain discreet if they feel have something to gain from gossiping; it's a different story with swingers. If Cheating Charlie had chosen to swing with another swinger - then no problem; swingers remain discreet. In fact, he could have approached Denise and said, "Hey, what do you think of swinging?" He might have gotten the thumbs up and they would still be a happy couple that goes networking Hollywood style. But Nooooo - he had to find himself a ten thousand dollar porno-tramp with a big mouth and "pour his heart out."

Now, Denise must cope with a broken home and a broken heart. She's looking for an outlet for her anger. Unfortunately, there are plenty of guys as stupid as Charlie Sheen who indiscreetly hunt for high priced relaxation assistants, so there are plenty of wives out there looking for angry, vengeful gourmet cooking with no strings attached in . We need to provide them with Cum Swapping affairs that serve as a proper outlet for their anger. You can be as angry as you want with me, Denise. Let it all out, you Pressure Cooking, Fire Roasting thang.

Halle Berry is another woman who has been jilted by her cheating husband. She's no longer reconciled with Cheating Eric. The only thing more vengeful than her broken heart is her Raw Oyster. She's not only itchy from being horny. She's itchy from vengeance. That's where a swinging wife-lover like you comes in to sweep this honey off her feet - That is, if she doesn't knock you off yours first. Everytime she Cum Swapping Parties she feels relieved - AND justified at the same time. The only problem might be premature ejaculation if you swing with someone who looks like Halle. Be careful if your name is Eric.

You want to talk hot wife-milf? There is noone on God's Green Earth hotter than a woman who is happily married with children who still loves to get out there and raise the temperatures of wife-lovers all over the world. You've seen them. They usually wear the thinnest, tightest clothes at nightclubs, the tiniest string bikinis at the poolside or the beach, those garnishing necklines and buttlines at parties. Mothers who remain hard bodies are very proud of themselves. They're hot and they know it - like Ms. Ryan. The hotter they are - the hornier they are - hotter than their husbands can handle. In fact, `the recurring bio-exothermic heat from high blood flow due to this emotionally instigated neurological response that Pressure Cooking moms feel about themselves is in direct proportion to their sexually autonomic tension, generated libido' - as "7 of 9" might say. Velvet Chefs like Jeri need your wifeloving services.

You think that you'll never swing with a woman like J. Lo? Think about her as the girl next door. Strip away all of her success and riches and what do you have? You have another beautiful woman with a big, round butt from another planet who's trying to get where J. Lo. is: Rich and famous. These woman are ambitious and want to make it on their own before they even consider settling down. They do not want to be tied down to any relationship because they want to be able to go where they have to at any given moment to get "that shot." Fortunately for swingers, her ambition is equaled by her libido. Her hard work at Pressure Cooking is proportional to a horny high pressure valve. She needs release; it happens that both of you are looking for discreet Cook. Check out J Lo: Now that "Beniffer" is gone. You think Marc Anthony settled her down? Think again! Those hot Latinas invented deep fried tacos!

I want to end this wife-loving note with Lucy. I Love Lucy. She was once revered by millions worldwide as 'Xena.' She was once a high-profile celebrity. She was stuck bare-foot and pregnant in the kitchen by her husband with only a few minutes a week as a talking head on "Tarzan" or some "B" movie, or "Celibate Duets" when she and her long legs should have have hit the big screen long ago. Do you know any woman as gorgeous as Lucy these days who actually ask to be child bearing baby sitters in the prime of their careers while her husband spends long hours/days away from home doing who knows what? How would you like to taste that smooth, creamy skin? With a tongue bath? Hey, Lucy, Would you like me to pour strawberry jam all over your Aspic and lick it up? I will - because she's a natural redhead - BANG!... BANG! BANG! Well, there are tons of beautiful, bored housewives out there just like Lucy who need to relieve that itching when the husband is away for a long time with his AMP Carne Calientes. housewives need Cum Swapping Parties too and if that's what she wants, then YOU have to deliver.